All good things must come to an end and it is with a tear in the eye that the Balg, after over three years of adventure columns in AA, must wave a clawed goodbye... But never fear because the Balg plans to leave with a bang and not a whimper - leaving behind him the most authoritative breakdown of all clues, reviews and humourous responses ever to grace his column plus all the usual features which made the Balg the greatest.

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News

Red Herring

The Balg must once again give a plug to one of the best ever adventure fanzines he's ever seen. Red Herring is superbly presented and jam packed with reviews and interesting articles. Although Red Herring covers all machines, there is enough Amstrad contents to make it worth a buy. For more details talk to Marion Taylor on (071) 256 8427 or write to her at 504 Ben Jonson House, Barbican, London EC2Y 8NH.

The adventure workshop grows!

More news from that hard working chappy, Phil Reynolds, at the Adventure Workshop. Phil has added loads more games to his current stock including Starship Quest (the three part sequel to Magnetic Moon) at £6 disc only, The Staff of Power (£4 disc only), The Pendant of Logryn (£4 CPM+ only), The Case of the beheaded Smuggler (£5 disc only), The Axe of Kolt (£6 CPM+ only), Venom (£2 tape, £4 disc), Shard of Inovar (£2 tape only), Kobyashi Naru (£2 tape, £4 disc) and Dead End (£3 tape, £5 disc). For more details and a free catalogue contact Phil at 36 Grasmere Road, Royton, Oldham OL2 6SR, Lancashire. Tel: 061 652 7565.

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Letters

An amazed amster?

I have just read the results of your readership survey on adventuring and I am currently laying on the floor in a state of shock. May I take a few lines of your hallowed pages to thank all of your wonderful readers that took part in your survey and of course, special thanks to those who voted for Helvera - Mistress of the Park as not only the best text adventure of 1992 but who also gave it the crowning glory of top adventure of all time.

These are heady heights indeed and are certainly far higher levels of achievement than this humble author every expected to arrive at. So once again, many thanks to you and to all the readers who took part.

Finally, there may just be a few readers who are wondering where they can obtain Helvera from as the distributor was missing from the result announcement. It is of course, available from WoW software (Joan Pancottz HPilg, 78 Radipole Lane, Weymouth, Dorset DT4 9RS. Tel: (0305) 784155 Any day - 1pm to 10pm).

Yours sincerely and totally gob-smacked,
Bob Adams, Welwyn Garden City

You may be gob-smacked Bob but you certainly deserved it - in the Balg's not so humble opinion Helvera was the best text adventure of '92. Congratulations again.

PAW problems

All recognise you as the Worlds Premier adventurer (stop creeping - Balg!). So I turn to you for help. Where can I get PAW on disc... you are my last hope.
The enforcer, Newcastle

Well you could try the original distributors, Gilsoft, on (0446) 732765 but if they don't have it in stock any more you're best bet is to place a free ad in AA.

Role playing games request

Dear Almighty Balrog,

I was going about my usual business of killing a few orcs and maybe the odd hydra at the Fire Mountains, in the Glyphx part of Hythox when I decided to be a bard. I went to the school of Bards and did very well until my final examination - I was given eight moons to find a hobbit sanctuary. (Eating Tooken strange of Littlebed as I hated his letters almost as much as his acquaintances. It was nothing to do with the nine bags of gold and sixty moon pieces he owed me) were an mighty sage informed me that the Balrog lived at the 50th dungeon level of moria (well I don't just frequent the 50th - I can be found on the lower levels as well - Balg). So I would be grateful if you could tell me of a hobbit sanctuary and recommend any good tape role playing games apart from Bards Tale and Hero Quest.
Michael Orcslayer, Alexandria

Michael, I can recommend the following games worthy of your good taste: Rings of Darkness, Bloodwych and Lords of Chaos. Unfortunately you're going to have difficulty finding them - your best bet is to place a small ad in AA. As to Hobbit Sanctuary's - I've known of a couple in my time but strangely, within two weeks of their location reaching the Balgs fair ear, some evil rampaging monster attacked and ate all the hobbits! Who could be responsible for this outrageous behaviour is beyond a naive and young Balg (toothy grin).

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Balrog's Big table of Adventure

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Help!

How do you get the second piece of brain in Monty Python's Flying circus?
Mr J. Jones, 41 Westmorland Avenue, Newbiggin-by-the-sea, Northumberland, NE64 6RN.

How do I get the gloves from Joana in the Famous 5?
Ian Renard, 42 Bodmin Avenue, Macclesfield, Cheshire SK10 3JU. Tel: (0625) 429109

WANTED: Leather Goddesses of Phobos.
Chris Scott, 38 Brocks Hill Drive, Oadby, Leicester LE2 5RD.

How do you get the fishing net in Spell Bound Dizzy?
Terri Richardson, 8 Exeter Close, North Seaton, Ashington, Northumberland NE63 9RZ.

WANTED: Booklet for or disc version of Bards Tale.
Belladonna, 265 Court Road, Mottingham, London SE9 4TQ.

WANTED: General help with multi-part games in GAC.
P. Lindley, 1318B High Road, Whetstone, London N20 9HJ.

WANTED: Werewolf simulator and Red Moon.
Chris Parker, 1 Rectory Road, Edgefield, Norfolk NR24 2RJ.

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Clue sniffing with the Balrog

This cluepot comes to you thanks to the following awesome adventurer dudes: Patrick Madders (Newcastle U. Tyne), The enforcer (Newcastle), Glen & John McFarlane (Troon), Robert Smith (Gwynedd), Philip Carver (Essex) and last but by no means least, Andrew Doyle (Solihull). Thanks also to all contributors who over the years have kept the Balg's cluepot brimming for hints and tips for the needy adventurer.

Famous Five (esp. for Gary Ingram & Vikki Henry)

Keep paper from sandwiches.
Make friends with George by buying Ginger beer at shop with pocket money.
The matches are under the bed in the spare room.
Let George row you to Kirrin Island.
Tie rope to tree stump to go down hole.
Pull boat high up on sand.
Smash cupboard in cabin on ship and take box.
In Kirrin cottage, to get food, put Julian in dining room, the rest in the sitting room. Get dick to turn on wireless. Become Julian, go into the kitchen, then larder and take all.
On Kirrin Island to get sticks, eat cake from larder. Get crumbs, drop crumbs by jackdaw tower. Get sticks. In shelter light paper then sticks.
Try hitting people for laughs.

Imagination

Give the weather map to the woman in the tower.
Divert the dogs with the chips.
Enter mole after drinking elixir.
Freeze milk to get yoyo.
Play yoyo to get the key.

Magnetic Moon

In port lifeboat bat search pilot's couch then the storage compartment. Fit oxygen to helmet the wear helmet.
To leave the stellar queen... Press button by airlock, enter airlock, press button, press button and then jump.
You need the flashlight on the moon whilst in the hills.
Whilst by the abandoned freighter don't go aft twice!
Throw grapnel by freighter until you suceed then climb rope, then enter port.

The Pawn

To get past the large boulder, tie hoe to rake with shirt, lever boulder with hoe and rake.

Quest for the Golden Egg-cup

Brooks is the password.
Never swear.
God will give you a stone tablet if you hang around for a bit.
Don't leave your golden egg lying around, Thoron will steal it.
Never drink from Wongo's cauldron.
Give the ferryman the credit card if he won't take you across the river.
Examine everything.
Interrogate and arrest suspects.

Yarkon Blues

Bend the panel to reveal a shovel.
'TELEPORT' to teleport.
Press button A then button C or else.
Hold breath before examining the dead body.
Fire phaser at case in the museum.

Yarkon Blues II Part 2

Get vial (from science laboratory) and go back to Captains Cabin, smash vial at documents, examine ashes and get cube.

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Lords & Ladies of Adventure

Iron Lord, Seabase Delta & Spellbound.
William Huddleston, 1 Millwell Park, Innerleithen, Borders, Scotland EH44 6JF.

Knight Tyme & Mega Bucks.
Andy Riddings, 10 Berkshire Street, Chaddesden, Derby DE2 6GQ.

Forest at World's End, Hitchhiker's Guide, Jewels of Babylon, Leather Goddesses & Message from Andromeda.
Iain McCarthy, The Old School, Church Lane, Brantham, Manningtree, Essex CO11 1QA.

Castle Blackstar, Heavy on the Magic, Indus Valley, Never Ending Story & Orb Quest.
Andy Clayton, 29 Portman Road, Scunthorpe, South Humberside, DN15 8PD. Tel: (0724) 872135 betweem 6pm and midnight.

Adult II, Al-Strad, Antidote, Atalan, Bestiary, Big Top, Black Fountain, Black Knight, Boggit, Bored of the Rings, Boredom, Can I Cheat Death?, Case of the Mixed-Up Shymer, Castle Adventure, Cave Capers, Caves of the Bew Bews, Conch, Crispin Crunchy, Dick 'ed, Dungeon, DAA, DAAW!, Detective, Doomlords, Escape from Planet of Doom, Escape from Prison Planet, Firestone, Flook, Forest at World's End, Gerbil riot of '67, Ghost House, Grue Knapped, Heroes of Karn, Helvira, Hobbit, Hounds of Hell, House out of town, Imagination, Jason and the Argonauts, Jewels of Babylon, Labarinth, Lighthouse Mystery, Lost Scroll, Magician's Apprentice, Message from Andromeda, Nite Time, Orb Quest (Pt. 1), Orifice from outer space, Panic beneath the sea (pt. 1), Power curse (Pt. 1), Prison Blues, Quest, Quest for the Golden Egg-cup, Robocide, Roog, Rouge Midget, Scary Tales, Seabase Delta, Souls of Darkon, Spaced Out, Spacy, Star Wreck, Subsunk, Tealand, Theseus (pt. 1), Thiefs Tale, Tizpan, TRD, Use your loaf, Videoworld, Welladay, Yarkon Blues & Yawn + Help for Quill programmers.
Simon Avery, 71 Fore St, Chudleigh, Newton Abbot, South Devon TQ13 OHT.

Hitchhiker's Guide, Leather Goddesses, Lurking Horror & Moonmist.
Ken Dean, 63 Elmhurst Avenue, Oulton Broad, Lowestoft, Suffolk NR32 3AR.